A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
