Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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