Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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