My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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