I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
