Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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