People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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