Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
