Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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