White coat. Heels.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
