come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
