i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
