I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
People in love make me want to vomit
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize