that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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