So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize