he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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