My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
