I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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