Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize