dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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