omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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