he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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