soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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