Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize