:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
