im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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