first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize