Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am naked and annoyed.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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