so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
