You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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