what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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