Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
