It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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