so explain again why im purple
no
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
