i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
