its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
