We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize