Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You've changed since you got that strap on
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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