Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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