i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No subtext here. People are naked.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
