i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He passed out mid-signature
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
