Quick, to the slutcave!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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