I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
