He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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