Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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