I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
