everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
