Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
