I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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