And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
