She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
