You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
