There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
