I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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