Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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