I heard we made out
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
