If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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