We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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