To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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