No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
