It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
only you would photoshop your dick
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
